Welcome to Garfield's Lair!!!!! Please sign my guestbook before you go!!

Hi, I'm Garvolta, as many people know me over chat and the internet, and I am totally and completely obsessed with Garfield! I have a collection of about 800 items and growing! If you have any Garfield info or just wanna write, sign my guestbook and I'll answer you in yours. ok???

First order of business: Top Ten lists!!
The top ten reasons why Garfield will never be a Jellicle cat: (by the way, a Jellicle cat is a cat from the musical CATS)
Also, thanks, Spot, for the top ten list. This was obtained from the CATS www-board (www.jugendnetz-ffm.de/privat/vlado/cats/wwwboard.html). Thanks a BUNCH!!!
10: Lasagna is not on the Jellicle menu
9: Jellicle cats are "rather small" or "rahtha smoll" as Alonzo would have it.
8: He lives with a slobical dog, not a pollicle, peke, pug or pom.
7: He couldn't jump like a jumping jack if his life depended on it.
6: He would get angry because Munkustrap looks like Nermal, the world's cutes kitten.
5: Thinking a song doesn't count.
4: He would eat all of Misto's fish paste
3: He has no terpschorean powers, unless you count eating and sleeping.
2: He'd fall asleep during the invitation.
And the number one reason why Garfield will never be a Jellicle cat is:
1: The Jellicle ball is held on a Monday.


As you probably know, Garfield has a family:

1) Jon. He's Garfield and Odie's owner.

Top Ten Most Likely Reasons for the Name Arbuckle

10. Wiener-chested
9. rash giver
8. pudding-brained
7. man of socks
6. dances with cows
5. he who giggles in battle
4. uh-oh, here he comes
3. royal bore
2. village dweeb
1. cat-whipped


2) Odie. He has to stand on a chair to raise his IQ. His tongue is almost as big as his body, and much bigger than his head.

Top Ten Advantages to being Odie

10. Never has to read "Paradise Lost"
9. Plenty of saliva for throwing spitballs
8. Isn't flustered if he forgets to give "Jeopardy" question in the form of an answer
7. Bathroom is always as close as the nearest tree
6. Tongue can reach those "hard-to-lick" places
5. Babes dig cartoon characters
4. Can buy and sell Marmaduke
3. Okay to scratch himself in public
2. Lack of brains means big-time bliss
1. All the toilet water he can drink


3) Pooky. He's Garfield's sidekick whenever he dresses up. More about alter-egos later. He's also Garfield's form of a security blanket.


4) Nermal. The world's cutest kitten. Garfield hates him (yes, it's a HE) and often tries to mail him to Abu Dabhi. (weird fact: The person who does Nermal's voice on TV is a girl!)


5) Arlene. Garfield's lovelife. He and Arlene will never get serious, because he loves himself too much!


6)Lyman. He was Jon's roommate, but for some reason he mysteriouslly disappeared. You know what's coming next!!

Top Ten Explinations for Lyman's disappearence

10. Left strip to pursue dream of Olympic figure-skating gold
9. Joined CIA, working undercover in Russian comics
8. Had lunch with Jimmy Hoffa, and then...
7. Took role of Elaine on "Taxi"
6. Hit on Blondie and Cathy; editors complained
5. Disfigured in drawing accident
4. Moved to San Francisco
3. Opted for career in hotel/motel accident
2. Balooned to 270 pounds; wouldn't fit in comic strip panels
1. Don't look in Jon's basement!!

Lyman was first intended as someone for Jon to talk to. You know how the 70's was, they wore REALLY short shorts (jogging? they didn't need to go jogging!) and always went together... hmm!


Other characters in the Garfield comic strip

Irma. She's a waitress at a scuzzy restaurant that Jon just keeps going back to for no apparent reason.

Liz. "Liz" is not short for Elizabeth, it's short for Lizard, or so she says. She really doesn't like Jon, but ends up dating him a lot, somehow..

Jon's family:

Dad. He's not too bright. He once gave a pep talk to 40 acres of soybeans when Jon said how well his plants grew when he talked to them.

Mom. She is the queen of Thanksgiving dinners.(YEA!) Her main pleasure is to make sure that everyone has just more than enough to eat before they burst.

Doc Boy. He's Jon's brother, and him and Jon constantly fight. (Hey, isn't that what siblings are for??)

Grandma. She only comes in The Garfield Christmas Special, but plays an important role. She's a sweet old lady... who does 100 sit-ups every morning.

Aunt Gussie. She hasn't appeared in a while. She sells African Violets, makes quilts, and knocks down three hundred dollars a week teaching slam dancing.


How Jim Davis came up with Garfield:
Jim lived on a farm. Since he had asthma, he couldn't work, which left his brother with a LOT of chores, which certainly made him feel better. He would have to travel 30 miles a week just to get treatments. Eventually, it went away. But, while he still had asthma, his mom gave a pencil and paper and taught him how to draw. At first, he was as bad as every other kid. He had to label his drawings and such. But, with practiice, he eventually became a very good drawer.
He went to Ball State University (a college in Indiana) and earned one of two of the lowest GPAs ever in the history of the university! The other lowest happened to be none other than David Letterman.
At first, he would do any sort of work like brochures and hometown commercials. Then he moved on to lettering on Tumbleweeds, a comic strip about the wild west (might I say, very funny!). He finally got his own strip published, Gnorm Gnat. It didn't go well, and poor Gnorm was last sighted looking up at a giant foot aiming straight for him.
Finally, he came up with Garfield. He had observed that there were many strips about dogs, but few about cats. So he decided to come up with a cat, since he had grown up with 25+. He used his grandfather's middle name, Garfield. How did he come up with the color orange? Well, he has been known to say, "In my mind, the sky is blue, the grass is green and cats are orange."


Top Ten Strips Jim Davis Tried Before Garfield

10. Andy Ameoba
9. The Domestic squabblers
8. Randy Rash
7. Crazy Crayfish
6. Sid the Sperm Whale
5. J.M.Keynes, Kid economist
4. Billy the Bagman
3. Milt, the Incontinent Hamster
2. Gnorm Gnat
1. Garfield the toaster


Garfield is the third comic strip in cartoon history to appear in 2,000 newspapers. It is read by millions of people daily.


Some of Garfield's famous quotes:

"With all due respect to Will Rogers, I never met a lasagna I didn't like."

"I'm not known for my compassion."

"I'm Garfield, the biggest, baddest, meanest cat in town, and this is my sidekick, Pooky."

"Ten thousand dogs in the world and I have to live with Tweedledee the wonder dummy."

"Eat and sleep, eat and sleep, there must be more to life than that, but I hope not."

"I hate Mondays."

"You know what is the unluckiest day of the month? Monday the Thirteenth!"

"'Diet' is 'Die' with a 'T'!"

"I'm only human."

"The bouquet leaves something to be desired."

"I'm fat, I'm lazy, and I'm proud of it!"

"What we have here is a failure to communicate."

"Show me a mouser and I'll show you a cat with bad breath."

"Feed me!"


Now for you boys out there reading this:

A poem by Jon entitled "My Buddy"
"I have a buddy.
My buddy's a toad.
He's kind of muddy,
He's flat on the road.
But, he is my buddy,
My buddy to stay,
'Til he's peeled up
And sailed away."


Garfield loves food! DUH! He will eat 'most anything, but there's a few foods he hates:
1. Rasins
2. Jon's cooking (except, of course, when he makes LASAGNA!)
3. soy curd
4. tofu
5. anything healthy
6. Spam (well probably, anyway!)

S'more top ten lists!!!!
GARFIELD'S TOP TEN YUCKIEST PIZZA TOPPINGS

10. Moose
9. Mouse
8. Salamander
7. Tofu
6. Raisins
5. Green algae
4. Red ants
3. Three-toed sloth
2. Monkey brains
1. Bran

Top Ten Signs that your cat is a "Garfield"

10. Your pet food bill surpasses the national debt
9. He gets a court order requiring you to pamper him
8. Dogs in your neoghborhood get anonymus hate mail
7. Mice hold conventions at your place
6. Your plants die mysterious deaths
5. The vet pays YOU not to visit them
4. He puts a combination lock on your refrigerator
3. He's sometimes mistaken for Rhode Island
2. He tries to have you fixed.
1. Can't tell if he's sleeping or dead

On to alter egos........

Garfield often dresses up and poses as different people or things. Some of those and what they have been like are as follows:

1. Banana man... he sends joy and humor to the world!!
2. Ameoba man... he eats through osmosis and fell in love with a pillow!
3. The Caped Avenger... a crime-fighting, fearless, dog-hating super hero until his cape shrunk in the wash (he then became the 'Hankied Avenger')
4. Sumo cat... Self explanitory!
5. Karate cat... one of my personal favorites! He goes around "hi-ya"-ing everything in sight for a week!
6. One week he just did a bunch of impressions, like a radio, jaws and a car hood ornament.

Don't forget to sign my guestbook!!!!!!! GARFIELD RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cool Garfield Links and Some Others Too!

Garfield Online	Garfield's homepage. WOW!
The Garfield trading network	A very good friend of mine's homepage. Well done!!!
The Garfield Trading Network's Forum/Chat service!	Check this out for the latest news on almost everything Garfield and post messages of your own!!
An unofficial CATS webpage	Come visit my best friend's webpage!!!
Garfield's g-mail	Get your own FREE Garfield email address!

My Message to the World