Welcome to my page! Most people would say it sucks- But I like it. So screw them!!!!!

H E L L O !
How are you today?
This is the wonderful page of (drumroll please) RHETORICAL/STUPID QUESTIONS!!!
Woooohooooooooo! Here we go-

What does "same difference" mean?
What part of "no" don't you understand?
How many ducks would it take to equal the weight of an average human?
Why do mice always choose to run across the room in the middle of good TV shows, and never during the commercials?
Why do you only slip and fall when carrying fragile things?
Why does the buttered side of the toast always land on the floor?
Why do you only go out for spaghetti while wearing a white shirt?
Why doesn't cable TV show anything good?
Why do you only crave fast food AFTER the restaurant has closed for the night?
Why do some people type "cool" as "kewl?"
Why are baby predators cuter than baby harmless creatures?
Why can I never find my book after setting it down for twenty seconds?
Why is there no good and cheap Macintosh software readily available?
Why wasn't I born rich?
Why is Baywatch so popular, if nobody I know ever watches it?
Why are you reading this page?
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
When a cow laughs does milk come up its nose?
Why do they put braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?
How did a fool and his money GET together?
If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon on the pan?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why do people use the word "irregardless"?
What is the purpose of Frosh Chem Lab?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
What's another word for thesaurus?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
What do they use to ship styrofoam?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
Why is everybody always pickin' on me?
Why don't you get a life?
Why don't I get a life?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Who comes up with corny crap like the previous question?
Does 'virgin wool' come from sheep the shepherd hasn't caught yet?
What happened to the days when Saturday Night Live was funny?
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
What was I smoking when I put this on my web page?
Why do I have a web page?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why are there D batteries, C batteries, AAA batteries, AA batteries, but no B or single A batteries??
When people lose weight where does it go?
If you ate your own foot would you lose weight?
Why do people who eat natural foods die from natural causes?
Why does food that tastes the best have the highest number of calories?
Why is it that the best balanced diet is a burger in each hand?
Is the reason we get heavier as we get older because there is a lot more information in our heads?
Why is it that someone will order two quarter pound burgers and an extra large french fries but will still insist on getting a Diet Coke?
If everyone on Earth lost weight at the same time would the Earth change it's orbit?
Why do some used car dealerships display a sign that reads "These cars won't last long"?
Should Vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Do you find it a bit unnerving doctors call what they do practice?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?
If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?
How can someone "draw a blank"?
Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
What is another word for "thesaurus"?
When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is
Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?
Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
Does a fish get cramps after eating?
Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"?
Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
Why are we afraid of falling? Shouldn't we be afraid of the sudden stop?
Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?
Who has the "copyright" on the symbol (TM)?
Why does AT&T advertise 'Reach Out and Touch Someone' when that's the one thing you can't do with a phone?
Who would win if the Energizer Rabbit and the RoadRunner ever got into a fight?
Is Aunt Jemina related to Uncle Ben?
Did the Quaker Oats man ever date Betty Crocker?
Is there any connection between Aunt Jemina and Mrs. Butterworth?
If you named your child 'I' could he talk about himself in the first second and third person at the same time?
When you pick up a baby why does someone always tell you to watch out for the head? Isn't it the other end that you should be watching out for?
How can babies think? They don't know how to talk so how can they communicate with themselves?
Why do we talk of a baby as being a bouncing baby boy or girl? Has anyone actually dropped their baby to test this out? I should hope not!
Do the poker playing dogs own pictures of people playing fetch?
Did you know that it is not what a teenager knows that bothers his parents. it is how he found out?
Why are teenagers expected to be mature enough to make their own decisions about clothing dating etc. but their parents won't let them?
If you have a friend who works for the Psychic Friends Network should you plan a surprise birthday party for them?
Would a midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison be called a small medium at large?
Why is it you never see the headline... "PSYCHIC WINS LOTTERY"?
Does a psychic amnesiac know in advance what he is going to forget?

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